Tuesday, March 3, 2015

MidLife Changes

My life has been at a crossroads.  As I neared the magic number of age and years of State service to reach the desired 80 points it was obvious that staying the next 1.25 years and reaching that magic number would give me a net result of $2500/ year in pension.  Since the move of our desks to the cold computer room I realized that would barely keep me long johns and hi-test coffee.   In addition, I felt as though I was being aged in dog years.  Sunday nights brought fear and dread knowing that another week in the cold room would commence.  Constantly cold and unhappy in my job.

My yoga teacher had told us once we went through teacher training we would soon become very dissatisfied with our current jobs.  She was right.  She still is right.  I had trained hard to become a yoga teacher and enjoyed teaching so much more than being Help Desk Heather.  Hatha Heather is what my heart is directing me to be. 

 I decided there was but one solution to this dilemma.
After lengthy discussions with the hubby, crunching numbers and adding Silver Age Yoga to my current RYT200 yoga certification; it was apparent that this was extremely do-able and I could make up the income difference teaching.  However, the thought terrified me.  That whole "quitter" label and the uncertainty of health insurance had my stomach tied in knots.  Sleepless nights, nausea and lots of meditation as I was questioning my own reality.  After a lot of angst, trepidation and support from the dear husband the decision was finally made.   Thinking through all the prospects after I leave State service it finally came to me - it is time for a change in direction.
Yesterday I submitted my 2 weeks notice to my supervisor.  I requested as little hubbub as possible.  I want to make a stealthy exit.  She was - of course - shocked.  No one ever expects anyone to retire early.  I got through the day in an anxious mood. 

Today I informed the coworkers. They are sad but also encouraged to know that it can happen.

I just hope next Friday March 13th ( my last day) they don't embarrass me.

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