Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving had always been my favorite holiday.  The smell of turkey roasting when you rise, the gathering and gratitude and no gifts.  I loved it. The Thanksgivings of my childhood and early adulthood are filled with those memories.  Lazy days of sweet rolls, mimosas, parades and poultry was my idea of perfection.

A few years ago my life was turned upside down at Thanksgiving and my life would never be the same.  My perception and enjoyment of my former favorite holiday changed forever.

But I digress.....

We have these ceramic turkey candle holders.  I bring them each Thanksgiving.  My son talked me into getting them from Walgreens probably 26 years ago.  They were cheap, came with candles so I bought them.

That first year we burned the candles that came with the cheap holders and found that they never stayed up OR straight.  We chalked it up to cheap candles and packed them away.

The following year they were brought out again.  Better, higher quality candles were purchased but the holders still never held the candles up OR straight.  Sadly the kids loved them so they were packed up and brought out year after year with the same result.  

The year after my life fell apart I brought them out and displayed them in all their wayward glory.  They had come to represent my life.  They were my bridge to the past, my joy of Thanksgiving and my constant reminder that I was, as a human, somewhat imperfect - wayward as it were - like those fowl.  

Now my life is once again in turmoil with the same issues that I faced and thought I had solved after my dismantling 8 years ago.  This Thanksgiving doesn't look to be the joyous holiday of yore or even the past 8 years of rebuilding.

The turkeys are on the table again this year.  They are there with the candle holder I couldn't find until I prayed to St. Anthony.  There are also the what feels to be the annual guilt bouquet of flowers from the hubby; the reason for my despair.

I feel like taking those candle holders and smashing them into a million pieces.  The reasons:

1.   I am the only one who appears to care about them - the kids are grown. 

2.  They have never worked as intended.

I know I won't.  I have come to a catharsis.  Those candle holders represent us.  We ARE the wayward turkeys!!

To quote Arlo - "This Dump is Closed on Thanksgiving"

OUR DIGITAL LIVES

Today I started thinking about how we live such digital lives we don't even think about it anymore (says the woman blogging). 

Of course we did this to ourselves.  As our children grew we videotaped every milestone and this morphed into My Space, Facebook and You Tube.  Every milestone from proposals to births is out there - somewhere - for someone to see. 

Often the intent is to share times and life moments with family and friends.   If funny then perhaps you hit You Tube gold or a blogging job comes your way.  Most often it is to share with those you care about. 

We share because we want to feel a part of something bigger; the whole.  The great mass of humanity or the vastness of the Universe is why we post and share our collective human condition.

Sadly there are times when there is someone uses our words or posts to their advantage in their attempt to hurt others.  They troll our online presence and look for something posted or cached with the intent to  be used against someone else.  It is an inference of immorality with no regard for that person's feelings.

This has happened to me.  A person estranged from our family is engrossed in a legal battle with a relative.  They used my posted words to infer a situation that doesn't exist rather than require the individual involved to do the right thing.  The worst part is their actions have the the potential to hurt. Many people.  Innocents. It is a losing game.

So I am trying to think about what would make someone so lose their compassion and humanity.  I cannot understand allowing that to happen.