HATHA WITH HEATHER

I start teaching yoga tomorrow.  Bright and early; 9 am Hatha With Heather will be at Central Farmers Market.   I am excited and terrified.  

Missing Yoga Practice

Last week was kind of crazy with the hubby's b-day and work schedule issue.  Because life got in the way I missed practice.  Ack!  I vowed (NOT a resolution - I don't do those) that I would start this week and go to daily practice after work again.  Get into the groove, the schedule, the Zen of it all.

HA! The Universe ROARED!  HA! 

I got some sort of virus thing that has been roaming around the cubicles at work despite the cold temperatures in the building.  There has been hacking, wheezing, sniffling, sneezing and all the other activities that go with cold and flu season.  Last week seemed to be a contest among some as to who could be the sickest one there at work.  Kids were being sent home from school and daycare with this nastiness so of course the parents go it.  Many of them also came to work feeling rugged because they'd had to use the time to take care of their sick kids first.  They hide it and tough it out. 

Needless to say I acquired a small case (compared to others) and spent the weekend flat on my back either in bed or parked in front of the TV watching the NFL Divisional Playoffs.  Saturday I drifted in and out of lucidity while I watched the Saints fall to the frightening Seahawks. The hubby came home from a day with the guys and fed me soup and 7-Up.  I sat pie-eyed and watched the Colts fall to my beloved Patriots.

 I had slammed back some, Tylenol, Wal-born and zinc lozenges.  I went to bed.  Felt a tad better on Sunday but pretty much followed the same routine with different teams (Broncos over Colts and the Panthers falling to the stinkin' 49'ers.  I hit the hay and got up this morning ready to seek vengeance upon those who had infected me - I went to work.  Dammit.



Of course yoga was completely out of the question.  I would not do that to my fellow practitioners. 
However, I miss it so much but know that I am not doing anyone any favors if I don't wait until I am 98%. Face it - at my age I will never be 100%; just close.

Bikram Yoga

Today is the first day off of yoga that I have had since Sunday.  I went to Bikram yoga for five consecutive days after work.  I worked myself deeply but yet I still feel slight pangs of guilt that I didn’t go to yoga today.  Instead I stayed home and cleaned house but I found myself thinking about yoga several times throughout my chores.  I had to work at staying present and focused on my tasks which were important and not thinking about missing today’s Saturday Community Yoga class.  I know full well that I am MORE than entitled to take some time off but somehow it feels as though I am only cheating myself in the end.  The way I feel after doing a yoga class is far better than the way I feel after cleaning house.  Yoga has replaced housecleaning as my preferred method of physical prayer and meditation.  It has become my physical mantra.

I bought my first Amazon Local voucher for yoga classes back in November thinking it would be a good thing to alleviate any holiday stress.  I never got around to using the voucher until January and it just wasn’t a good fit for me.  The studio, although lovely, was further from home than I wanted making it difficult to motivate.  I used what I could of the voucher and was just about done when the next offer from Amazon Local came in – a smaller downtown studio called Yogini’s.  The name sounded fun but this time I decided to do some research and found they were a hatha yoga studio and did the Bikram – hot – yoga that I was interested in trying.  I looked up the schedules and they had a beginning Bikram class at 4:30 which was perfect with my work schedule.  I would be able to hit the place after work.  I looked up Bikram yoga and read what I could about it. I read the schedule and decided it had perfect timing for me after work and I thought the hot aspect sounded awesome after a day in a cold building; air conditioning blasting down on me plus I could get a good 90 minute workout in and be home by 6:15. Almost too good to be true. I was excited about finally having a way to work out on my way home and Yogini’s sounded reasonable if I found I liked them. I decided it sounded like worth a try so I went ahead and bought the voucher for 2 months.   With classes that would work with my schedule downtown I was excited to start taking hot yoga. 

I showed up for my first class unprepared at best.  I showed up all excited and found that I was the only student that night.  I met the owner Kim and her daughters Roz and Ruby.  Roz did the class with me that first night where I stumbled through the poses but enjoyed it.  I found that my mat was useless without a towel because they heat the studio to 104 degrees and increase the humidity as well.  Kim put some essential oils in the humidifier which was terrific.  She was patience as she explained the hatha yoga practice.  Since it was my first time doing hot yoga she gave me a bottle of water on the house but let it be known that the next time it would cost me a buck.  I did the poses the best I could and although I sweat like a mule I felt FANTASTIC afterwards!  I was ready to sign up forever right them but wanted to do the 4:30 Beginning Bikram listed on the schedule on the website.  Kim explained that was a silent Bikram class and that until I knew the poses I should focus on some of the Synergy classes listed until I was familiar with the poses and hot environment.  I thought that sounded reasonable so I started going to the later classes at 6:15 to learn what I could about the practice of hatha yoga.  I bought a used copy of Bikram’s Beginning Yoga Class at Ruby’s suggestion. 

I talked my sister in to going to a month of classes on another voucher since she worked a couple days a week close to the studio.  Her first visit she was surprised and excited to see a picture of Yogananda, on the wall since she’d been reading his books for many years.  She learned that Kim and her family had studied with Yogananda for many years they were a very spiritual group of women.  My sister bought me a copy of “Autobiography of a Yogi” and I read that while she and I would meet for classes a couple days a week and then I would go by myself the other days.  Despite getting home – again – close to 8 pm it was a spiritual awakening for me.  I was inspired by reading about Paramahansana Yogananda and it did help with my understanding of hatha yoga  to learn of his journey in kriya yoga.  His  brother Biksnu Ghosh was the guru of Bikram Choudury so it all had its roots in hatha yoga.  I knew that I had been lead there to practice Bikram yoga and I wanted to take that 4:30 Silent Bikram class!

After her month was over my sister started going to a place close to her home and she encouraged me to go ahead and go to the class at 4:30 since I already knew the poses and it would be fine – I had this.  By the time I got around to telling Kim that I was going to start showing up for that class she had decided to make that a Beginning Bikram class with a Silent Bikram class at 3 as there had been so much demand for a Beginning Bikram class.  She’d been running a lot of different social media coupons and it was working out for her new studio.  More and more students had started coming in the time I had been going so it was fun to watch this local business grow. 

It was also fun to be a part of something greater – a community of other people committed to the practice of hatha yoga.  It felt very strongly spiritual for me as I started learning the poses and by the time I started going to the Bikram classes it started to feel like a personal mantra that I do with my body.  It is a way to renew my body and also my spirit.  To be still, to enter the stillness with intent to heal and practice peace while sweating and using the heat of the studio to go beyond my edge is very fulfilling for on a spiritual level.  Although I am not really excited by the Hindu/Self Realization Fellowship aspect it does have some Zen things that give me a great sense of peace.  The meditational aspect of it and the staying present worked into my Buddhist leaning Unity faith. 

So now it’s a part of my schedule.  I get off work and drive a couple miles down the road to Yogini’s and I do 90 minutes of yoga and sweat like a fool then I come home and change/shower and decide what we should have for dinner.  I wish I could say I have lost a lot of weight but I haven’t.  In Bikram’s book (which is very funny!) he says that your metabolism levels out where it wants to be because the poses have stimulated those glands.  I do see that my arms and legs are firmer.  I do so wish I could say the same about my stomach but I think it’s just something that I will have to live with.  I have the stomach of a 53 year old mother of 2 because I AM a 53 year old mother of 2.  However, I have taken this step as one of many with the intention of in improving my health both physically and spiritually. 

I do love the staff and the studio.  I love the smell, the feel and the light in the building. I love everything about it and even after 2 months of going I still get excited to think about going there after work!  I have met other women there and even took one class next to a man my adult kids had as an elementary school choral music teacher.  It’s been a liberating experience just like the hubby said it would when I first started taking classes at the place that didn’t work out.  He was right.  It’s been a journey of discovery into what works for me to meet the need I have in my life for a practice of yoga.  It took a while but I found a home at Yogini’s.  I signed up for membership and I am enjoying my daily routine of doing my full body mantra. 

Now I just have to figure out a way to let myself have a day off without self-judgments.  I am doing great.  I am doing something.  That is more than most and there are days when showing up is the hardest part of my day but afterwards I am grateful, so grateful, that I was able to do it.  That my body is able to move into these poses and postures that do work on the inside of my body and mind is truly nothing short of miraculous.  I am so grateful for this body which is a vessel for my spirit.  I am also extremely grateful for the spirit that is inside me and everyone, everything else in the Universe.   Yoga is one of many things that make me realize just how vast our knowledge and breadth is. 

We are expansive.  We are but a small part of something bigger but no less important than any other parts.  When I go back to the basics of breath I can see that.  Yoga has taught me that. 

leela update

got through the chakra part of the Leela game.  did some sequences and relaxation/meditation aspects....also did the mind/body one which said I hav early dementia

can't follow directions

Right.....so I wrotejust yesterday that my rib situation was a sign that I needed to take it easy, mend and take a break from the Xbox; perhaps write a little.  I think that directive lasted about an hour.   I fired up the system and was working my 3rd - yellow - chakra for about an hour.  For a while it felt like it was good for my rib because my neck got sore - like it was before the hubby muckled me and bruised the rib (or whatever it is that happened) - and the rib wasn't as sore.  I thought - aha! - it is good for me to move.  I should keep working on this.

It rolled around to game time and I turned off the Xbox after playing for an hour or so.  Sat on the couch and proceeded to watch the NFL Playoffs.   As the Saints fell to the 49er's; my rib began to get more sore and you can kind of see where it's out of whack so to speak.  It's like a bruised area under my left boob.  Hurts to move in certain positions.  It's a damned nuisance!  As I sat and watched the game it got stiff and when I would move forward it would kind of clack - like there's some sort of movement.  I realized then that the best thing to do would be to take it easy.  We'd gone out Friday night to see War Horse so I decided we'd stay home.  The Patriots game was on anyway......

We ordered pizza, watched the Patriots red-ass spank the Bronchos and I took it easy.  Today we did church and then I beached on the couch to watch Baltimore beat Houston to advance against the Patriots (good luck with that) and am watching the Giants at Green Bay.  The game is closer than I thought it would be.

However, getting on and off the couch is a challenge.  I have the laptop fired up here and I intend to stay here tonight.  Thank goodness for a 3-day weekend and I can take it easy until I need to go to the casino for the cookware for the daughter and then take my folks to the doctor.  We'll see how things look on Tuesday as to whether I go to the doctor or  not.  I am hoping that staying still will do the trick.

But I really - REALLY - want to play the video game.  I  am also very disappointed in myself that I didn't follow my own advice and stay away from it until the rib is better.  What is it that makes us do the things we know we shouldn't?  Drive too fast, wear shoes that hurt and push ourselves even when we are hurt....it's an illness.  It's a silly personal competitiveness that doesn't make any sense at all.  The whole concept of the game - Leela - is to look within and go with the flow.  I am not flowing too well here.

In addition - isn't it time to act my age?  Realize that as a middle-aged woman I need to stop and see the signs the Universe is throwing my way?  Sore/bruised rib = take it easy!  At my age I really should know better.

Now....back to football.

the trouble with staying on track

Every intention was set for closing the old blog and starting up this new one.  The rebranding had begun and it felt good.  Like the Burning Bowl and White Stone ceremonies of the first of the year I felt cleansed and renewed; unfettered from the past.  I felt ready to blog again and even got a suggestion from my brother in law that I was going to write about that coincided with the Rose Parade.  A funny family story where my father, holding my 2-year old brother sat through the camp stool he was sitting on.  He landed on his ass on the sidewalk on Pasadena Boulevard.   It's a classic family story and I fully intended to write about it.  However, one thing got in my way - the XBox I got for Christmas.

At first it was good fun with the family.  We'd play Dance Central or another game together.  We would enjoy the dance challenges and work up winter post-holiday sweats dancing to songs that the younger ones knew but the hubby and I really didn't.  There was a fun, silly element of flailing in front of the television.  Instead of parked on the sectional watching television we were up dancing around to this amazing technology that made us the controller in a video game.  With the purchase of a cheapo arcade game we never got around playing Body-Brain Connection because I made a selfish mistake.  I purchased Leela for myself and my life changed. 

Hours were spent trying to align my chakras with this game.  I worked it for almost 2 hours one day trying to get my Sacral Chakra level completed.  By the time I had completed the level my hips were so dang sore.  Not excruciating but that nagging "you are not as young as you used to be" pain.  It was a humbling moment for sure.  On some levels it hurt my feelings but then on another I realized that this was all a part of the adventure we're on.

It was a good thing that the hubby and I went away for a weekend to Flagstaff as it gave my middle-aged body - and psyche - a rest.  We had a great time staying a haunted hotel and having a fabulous meal.  As we did 35 years ago; we danced in the Monte Vista Lounge.  We felt cold and we felt alive. 

A day back and a bear hug later I have a bruised rib to go along with my bruised ego.  I am seeing as a gift from the Universe.  Don't work so hard on your chakras and make it competitive with this video game.  Take it slow.  Breathe.  Blog.